10. Turn Snowshoe into a gigantic limestone quarry, then fill it with water and host the World Water Skiing Championships.
9. Deliberately set coal seams on fire and invite tourists to visit Lava Land.
8. Contract with New York City to accept the Big Apple's garbage for mountaintop removal sites (call it The Big Smell).
7. Special license plates featuring the pictures of coal lobbyists Bill Raney and Ben Greene (proceeds to go to the Bad Hair Prevention Clinic).
6. Allow the oil and gas industry to blaze a gigantic road through the Monongahela National Forest, then build a four-lane highway on top of it.
5. Allow Kanawha State Forest to be clear-cut and invite experts from around the world to study mud slides.
4. Reserve an entire hotel in Charleston for the session (Marriott and Embassy Suites only need apply) and let the legislators party party party while the lobbyists sit at the desks and push the buttons.
3. Deport industry critics to China.
2. Hold a contest to see which extractive industry can clean out the state the quickest -- winner gets mineral rights to Guatemala.
1. Build a wall around the state, secede from the union, and let 'er rip!
